Paying it forward

I first saw the poem “First They Came” by Pastor Martin Niemöller when I was about 22 years old. It was on a beautifully designed poster hanging on my boss’s office wall. Maybe you know it?

First they came for the Communists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Communist
Then they came for the Socialists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Socialist
Then they came for the trade unionists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for the Jews
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Jew
Then they came for me
And there was no one left
To speak out for me.

My boss Michael was gay. We never talked about it but I knew he was because he had a Silence=Death sticker on his car. Back in the Eighties only gay people put those stickers on their cars.

Having an ActUp sticker on your car back then in North Carolina was a dangerous political statement. You could get into serious trouble for it. Followed at night. Pulled from your car. Beat up. Killed.

It may sound unbelievable now, but that’s the way things were then. Michael was kind of a slight, skinny, average-looking guy. He could totally pass for straight. No one ever would have known.

In my heart I thought he had the courage of a lion, because Michael would have gone down in under three minutes if somebody pulled him from his car to beat him up.

I knew that a bunch of Michael’s friends had died of AIDS. I didn’t know it at the time, but I realize now that he must have been frustrated and filled with rage to be so ready to put his body – his life – on the line like that.

His “First They Came” poster was another courageous act of saying – at work – who he was. Or maybe reminding himself daily of who he wanted to be, I don’t know.

I’ve been thinking about Michael’s poster and his Silence=Death sticker a lot these past few days.

This is Gay Pride month, and it wouldn’t be recognized as Pride Month except for courageous gay people like Michael with stickers on their cars. Protesting at die-ins. Fighting back against police brutality at Stonewall. Getting beat up and killed. Marching. Donating to PFLAG and ACT-UP and HRC and GLAD.

And straights who stood up and did all the same things, being allies and advocates. People who had no other skin in the game except that they recognized a wrong and worked to fix it.

Most importantly for me, equal marriage would not have become law in Massachusetts in 2004 without that bloodshed and protest and marching. My 21-year old relationship finally became a legal marriage that year because of them.

Equality is important. Most straight people didn’t realize that before equal marriage was made law, if my spouse or I at any point during those 21 years had been in the hospital, we would have not legally had the right to accompany or visit them or get any news of their status.

It’s things like that that most people take for granted. Everyone who can’t visit their loved one in the hospital with COVID right now is experiencing what gay couples had as their normal everyday experience up until 2004.

Civil rights are important.

Societal change can be peaceful or it can be violent; it depends on how receptive to change those that control the power are. Usually they’re not receptive, so equality happens with a fight, first physical and then legal. You’d have thought we would have learned as a society by now, but apparently we have to go through the horrific motions again and again and again.

And so we’re at it again. A continuing civil rights issue violently coming to a head.

And I’m here to say that there is no defense for killing people or putting their lives in danger because of the color of their skin. Period. People out walking. Jogging. Driving their car. Sleeping in their own home. Bird watching.

Just doing things that white people take for granted being able to do on any given day. Just living.

Nobody walking down the street deserves to die or be harassed or threatened simply for being who they are. It’s really as basic as that.

Silence equals Death.

Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

I know that you come here to learn more about what I and others have to say about prospect development. And I’ll go back to that (probably) next week, so tune back in then for fundraising-related information if you think I’m being too political today.

What’s happening in our country is significantly, historically important, and we all need to have our black and brown friends’ backs right now. We need to speak up or show up with the courage of this girl to shield people we know or don’t even know.

Please join me in doing whatever you can do to make a difference out loud. Here are some things everyone can do:

• Use your social media channels to listen to and learn from voices you don’t normally listen to, and then amplify them. Help others have a voice.

• If you can’t speak up, or if you’re not on social media, or you can’t march, make a donation. Support those who do the front-line work for justice. If your employer matches gifts, put that paperwork through as soon as you can.

• Educate yourself from experts how to de-couple yourself from intentional, unintentional, or unaware acts of racism.
• Get involved (here are lots of ways, curated by the Obama Foundation).

We’ve all been stuck in our homes, inactive, for weeks. Now’s your opportunity to make an active difference for positive change.

I’m forever grateful for people who spoke up for me. If someone ever spoke up for you, or if you wish someone had, join me in paying it forward.